


Unwanted Magic

by PandaPantsLuvsU



Category: The Two Princes (Podcast)
Genre: Amir is trans and you can pry that from my cold dead hands, I don't know how often I'm going to talk about it, M/M, Magic, Post-Canon, Post-Despair, Rupert's a panicky person so there's going to be anxiety, Trans Male Character, but he's trans, discussions of mental health and trauma, hahaha, i'm gonna say it's canon-compliant, it's amir, it's only been 2 months since that happened and everyone's still a little messed up, you can't PROVE any of this wrong
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-12 01:55:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29127564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PandaPantsLuvsU/pseuds/PandaPantsLuvsU
Summary: It's been two months since the Despair came to pass, and life is finally settling down for newlyweds Rupert and Amir, and their young son.Then a corny magician performs in the town square and mucks it all up.Nothing remains calm for long in the Heartland; Rupert should know that by now.
Relationships: Amir/Rupert (Two Princes Podcast), Rumir - Relationship
Comments: 18
Kudos: 27





	1. Bart and the Magic Show

**Author's Note:**

> I've been wanting to write a story like this for AGES and I've finally gotten around to it! It's honestly a lot of fun to write.

“There’s a troupe in town!” Wenceslaus yelled. 

Rupert looked up just in time to see his kid slide into the bedroom and nearly fall onto the bed. He grabbed the post to steady himself. “Rupert, Amir, there’s a troupe!” he said again. “They’re setting up in the square! Marius told me! Can we go? Can we go, _please_?” 

Amir glanced over at Rupert, who shrugged, sliding his bookmark into place. “Some fresh air would be nice. The wage law isn’t going to be finished any time soon, anyway.” 

“That’s true.” Amir stood and pulled on his boots. “Did Marius say what kind of troupe?” 

“He said that one’s a magician, and he’s _really_ good.” 

Rupert paused halfway through pulling his sweater on. “A magician?” The thought of magic made his skin crawl. 

“Yeah! Do you think he’s gonna do the trick with the rabbit? Or the doves? Once in the Hinterlands a magician came through but he was too tired to do any tricks so he just told me all about them. He said that he knew how to pull a rabbit out of a hat!” 

“You think that can really happen?” Amir asked. 

“I think so!” 

Amir reached for his velvet cape but Rupert stopped him. “We don’t want _us_ to be the main attraction,” he said, handing him one of his own cloaks. 

“Right.” Amir shrugged it on and the three of them walked out of the room. 

The trip to the town square was uneventful. Wenceslaus practically bounced with excitement the whole way there, chattering about seeing Marius and watching the magic tricks. 

A crowd had formed by the time they got there, townspeople murmuring to one another in anticipation. Wenceslaus waved at a group of children, most of whom Rupert recognized, and bounded over to them. 

“Do you think we should require a permit for stuff like this?” Amir asked. 

“Nah, not unless they’re going to be here permanently.” Rupert looked around at the faces. “Everyone’s still worn out from what happened with the D-word. Let’s not make anyone jump through more hoops to have fun.” 

“Good point.” Amir took Rupert’s hand. “What if we held some kind of festival next month to boost morale?” 

“Might not be a bad idea.” Rupert frowned. “But planning an entire festival with such short notice? I don’t know who would be up to helping us put it together.” 

“Sorry, you’re right.” 

Rupert turned to face him. “You don’t have to apologize. I like your ideas. We need _something_ here; now that the relief is wearing off people are starting to struggle. And implementing a wage law and making healthcare free is great for the long term but it’s taking longer than I thought it would.” He laughed a little. “Running a kingdom is hard work when you actually care about your people.” 

“That reminds me, I wonder how the _other_ D-word is doing?” 

“He _is_ a d-word.” 

Amir snorted and nudged him. 

The atmosphere changed. The hair on the nape of Rupert’s neck prickled and the smile fell from his face. 

“What is it?” Amir asked, looking around for any signs of danger. 

“Don’t you feel that?” Rupert glanced up at the sky. The weather hadn’t changed. 

“Feel what?” 

“Like something’s happening. Or about to?” He spotted Wenceslaus, who was still with his friends and oblivious to Rupert’s discomfort. “I don’t know how to describe it. It’s just _something_.” 

“Do you think it’s your anxiety acting up?” 

Rupert shook his head. “It’s different.” He made eye contact with a nearby knight and jerked his head once, silently telling her to keep an eye out. She nodded. 

“Patrons and patronesses!” someone cried, stepping onto the stage. The show had begun. “I am Milo the Magnificent and I’m here to amaze you!” 

Wenceslaus came back over and Amir put him on his shoulders so he could see. 

“Now, who likes to eat eggs for breakfast? I know I do. I like to have two.” Milo flipped his hands around and then there was one egg in each hand. “I woke up late, though, so I think I’m just going to make it for myself now.” He cracked the eggs into a pan. “Personally, I like to flambe them real nice.” He snapped his fingers and the pan burst into flames. The audience _ooh_ ed. “And then I just put the lid on here real tight...” He pressed the lid down. “Wait about seven seconds – seven is a lucky number, after all – and then _lift_!” Milo removed the lid and two birds flew out. 

The crowd cheered. Wenceslaus laughed with glee, clapping his hands. 

“Oops. _That_ wasn’t supposed to happen. Now what am I supposed to eat? How about some chocolate?” He pointed at someone in the front row. “You, fine maiden. Spare a coin?” 

She gave him one and he held it up for all to see. “You know, there’s a trick to coins that the nobility won’t tell you about.” He waved his hand over it. “If you bite into it just right …" He took a bite out of it and grinned, showing off what was left of the coin. “It’s a delicious treat!” 

More cheers. Wenceslaus looked down at Rupert and Amir. “Wait, is that true?” 

“No,” Rupert said. “It’s just a trick.” 

“So he turned it into chocolate?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Can I do that?” 

“I think you’d have to learn.” 

Milo performed several more stunts, including, to their son’s delight, pulling a rabbit from a hat. A donation plate was passed around and made its way to the trio. 

“He should have tons of money! Give him your whole coin purse!” 

Amir chuckled, dropping a handful of gold coins in and handing it to Rupert. 

As soon as he touched it, a wave of _something_ hit him, shooting throughout his entire body, radiating from the plate. He nearly dropped it in his shock. 

“Ru?” 

He looked at Amir. “Does the plate feel weird to you?” 

Amir shook his head. “Why?” 

Rupert handed it to the next person, rubbing his hands together. “I just – maybe I’m getting chilly or something.” The plate _had_ been cool to the touch. It could have just startled him. 

He watched it change hands, waited for someone else to react the way he had. No one did. 

Amir squeezed his hand. Rupert looked over at him. _"Are you okay?”_ Amir mouthed. 

Rupert nodded. 

_"Do you want to go home?”_

He shook his head. He didn’t want to spoil this for Wenceslaus just because he was on edge. 

“Remember this, and remember it well,” Milo said, finishing his act, “magic can be found anywhere. You just need to know -” he stretched his magnifying glass and held it over his eye - “where to look.” 

The crowd dispersed and Amir put Wenceslaus back on the ground. “Ready to head out?” he asked. 

“I wanna meet him! Can we? Please? Wait, can he be my new tutor?” 

Amir laughed. “I’m afraid not. I don’t think he’d know much about running a kingdom.” 

“But he can conjure birds!” 

“That’s not the same thing, bud,” Rupert said. “We can talk to him as long as he’s not busy.” 

Wenceslaus bolted for the stage. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Amir asked. 

“I think so? Maybe the whole _magic_ thing is just messing with me.” 

“He’s a magician, love.” Amir kissed his cheek. “He doesn’t really know magic.” 

“ _I_ know that, but sometimes logic isn’t enough.” 

Amir kissed his cheek again, then his hand. “If it makes you uncomfortable, we can always leave.” 

Rupert shook his head. “I’ll be fine. Just … can I keep holding your hand?” 

“Of course, my love.” 

As they got closer to the stage, they could hear Wenceslaus talking to someone. 

“So your parents just let you become his assistant?” 

“Actually, my parents died when I was little, and Milo took me under his wing.” 

“Oh! So he’s like your new dad! That happened to me, too, and now I have _two_ new dads. They’re not magicians, though, or anything cool like that. They’re just the princes.” 

Rupert and Amir looked at each other, then erupted into laughter, trying to keep it as quiet as possible. “We’re not cool enough for you?” Amir teased as they rounded the corner. 

Wenceslaus colored slightly. “I mean. You’re not magicians.” 

“You’ve got us there,” Rupert conceded. 

The assistant, who looked to be about fourteen or fifteen, bowed quickly. “Your Highnesses.” 

Wenceslaus puffed out his chest a little but raced over and took Rupert’s free hand. “Can we meet Milo? If he’s not too busy?” 

“Y-yes, of course.” He ran into the tent. 

Wenceslaus bounced on the balls of his feet. “His name’s Rodney and he takes care of the doves and rabbits and helps set up and everything like that. He said that the doves always fly back after the show for treats. And I asked if he has a lot of doves, since Milo makes new ones all the time from the eggs, and he said no because they set them free. But then _I_ said that that introducing a brand new animal to an ecosystem is potentially harmful because it could cause a rapid decrease in the dove’s prey and it could cause an _increase_ in the dove’s predators if it gets out of hand. And then Rodney said that he hadn’t thought of that before, and I said that Rupert is planning an animal sanctuary and maybe once that’s up _we_ could take the doves and he said he’d think about it.” 

The tent flap opened and Wenceslaus fell silent as Rodney stepped out with Milo right behind him. The back of Rupert’s neck began to tingle again and Amir rubbed along the back of his hand with his thumb. 

“Your Highnesses,” Milo greeted. “Did you enjoy the show?” 

“Yes! It was so cool! The part with the rabbit was my favorite!” 

He smiled. “Well, I’m glad you liked it.” 

“Do you have any magical pets? I have a dragon and a unicorn.” 

“I have several. Would you like to meet one?” 

Wenceslaus nodded excitedly. 

He whistled and a monkey came out of the tent, wearing a little vest and top hat. Wenceslaus cooed, dropping to his knees, as it approached him and held out his hand to shake. “What’s this little guy’s name?” 

“Barthalomew. We call him Bart.” 

“Hello, Bart. You’re a handsome fella.” The monkey climbed onto Wenceslaus’ shoulder and Wenceslaus laughed. 

Rupert beamed despite his anxiety. He and Amir tried their best to make sure Wenceslaus still had time to be a child, even with his tutoring and training, but the Despair hadn’t spared him any trauma. He, like the rest of the kingdom, was subject to nightmares and fits of melancholy. The times he got genuinely excited about something were few and far between. The other parents they’d spoken with said their kids were the same way. 

Children were so resilient, until they weren’t. 

Rupert leaned his head on Amir’s shoulder. Amir kissed his head. 

“Are all monkeys this smart?” Wenceslaus asked. 

“No. That’s what makes him magic.” Milo whistled again and Barthalomew returned to the tent. “We like to send him out to drum up business sometimes. He used to be a bit of a kleptomaniac but we’ve trained him out of that.” 

“Oh! Chamberlain’s boyfriend has that too. I don’t know what it means but I heard Rupert say it.” He turned to Rupert. “Can we train Barabbas out of it like they did with Bart?” 

“Why don’t you ask Chamberlain about it the next time you see him?” 

Milo chuckled. “Well, if I’d known I was entertaining royalty I would have prepared some gifts.” 

“You don’t have to,” Amir said quickly. “We have more than enough of … everything.” 

“Is there anything _you_ need?” Rupert asked. “And do you technically live here in the Heartland, or …?” 

“We live quite comfortably, thank you. Rodney and I are from a little village that borders the Southern kingdom.” 

“You’re quite far from home, then.” 

“The road _is_ our home. We just flit from place to place, like leaves in the wind.” 

Rupert forced a smile. Apparently Milo and Barabbas had crossed paths. “Have you had much trouble on the roads?” 

“A few brigands here and there but that’s pretty far out, near the borders, and they’re easy enough to fend off.” 

He was the third traveler to mention brigands. They’d have to send a few knights out to look into it. “I wonder why there _are_ brigands.” He bit his lip and looked at his husband. “We should check in on the border towns soon.” 

“Agreed.” 

“If it’s any consolation,” Milo said, “it’s happened a lot less often since the Heartland was formed.” 

Rupert nodded, deep in thought. How desperate would someone have to be, to risk their own life robbing travelers? Where were they failing as rulers, what had they overlooked? 

Barthalomew came back out of the tent, holding a pendant in his hand. 

“Bart!” Rodney snapped. “Give me that!” 

The monkey paid him no mind and ran right up to Rupert, presenting it to him. 

“I guess he likes you,” Amir said. 

“Guess so.” The pendant looked a little familiar, but Rupert couldn’t remember where he’d seen it – or something like it – before. He took it from Barthalomew and a bolt of energy shot through him. It was much like what he’d felt when he held the collection plate, but stronger. He dropped the pendant and it clattered to the ground. 

“You okay, Ru?” 

“Sorry.” He laughed a little, picking it back up. “Sorry, I guess it shocked me. Maybe it was staticky, or something.” He turned the pendant over in his hand. His fingers were shaking. “It’s pretty. Whose is it?” 

“It’s mine, Your Highness.” Rodney came over and Rupert gave it back to him. He touched his hand on accident and more energy flew through him, making him take a breath. 

He suddenly knew where he remembered it from. 

He’d recognized the stone. It was the same kind that Upendo wore. 

He stared at Rodney, who stepped back. “You’re a – you're …?” 

“Rupert, what is it?” 

Rupert put a hand on Wenceslaus’ shoulder, in case he needed to pull him away. “Magic,” he said dumbly. 

Rodney paled and exchanged a glance with Milo. “We’re not here to cause any trouble.” Milo put an arm across Rodney’s chest, moving so he was partially in front of him. “Rodney and I are just here for work. We promise.” 

He took a deep breath, willing his heart to calm. “I’m sorry, it’s just, from what I’ve seen –” 

“Of course you’d be cautious. That’s why we keep it a secret.” 

Rupert looked at their faces – their terrified faces – and his stomach dropped for a different reason. “I'm not going to arrest you,” he said quickly. “You haven’t done anything wrong.” 

Their shoulders dropped and Rodney covered his mouth and looked away. 

“I’m sorry,” Rupert repeated. “As long as your intentions are pure, you’re welcome here.” 

“I’m confused.” Wenceslaus shrugged Rupert’s hand off. “What’s happening?” 

“I’m a little lost too,” Amir said. 

Rodney wiped his eyes. “I have magic. _Real_ magic.” 

Amir gasped, gripping Rupert’s hand tighter. 

“I barely use it, just enough to keep it from building up. The most complicated spell I cast is for levitation.” He hugged himself around the chest. “It’s not – it's not evil. I know what you must think. We know about the forest and the fairies and the D-word and the …" He looked at Milo. “The Midlands. But there’s nothing _wrong_ with magic. It doesn’t have any morality; it’s a tool, like a sword or a cutting board.” 

“You can cast _spells_ ?” Wenceslaus looked up at Rupert. “Can _he_ be my new tutor?” 

“I’m afraid I can’t teach you magic, if that’s what you want.” Rodney put the pendant on. “You can’t learn it if you don’t already have it.” 

“Huh?” 

“Some people have magic, some people don’t. Just like some people have hazel eyes, and some people have green eyes. And if you _don’t_ have magic, you can’t learn to use it.” 

“And I don’t have magic?” 

“I don’t know. Until it presents itself, there’s no way to tell. It’s funny like that.” He looked at Rupert. “I think Barthalomew gave you my pendant for a reason.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“He’s sensitive to magic. He might have felt something on you and decided to test it out.” 

Rupert shook his head. “No, no, I don’t have magic.” 

“It was like a thousand little shocks going throughout your entire body, wasn’t it?” 

He shook his head again. The ground threatened to spin. “I don’t have magic. Maybe he’s sensing Porridge.” 

“I felt it when you touched me. Your energy. You have a lot of magical energy.” 

“I _can’t_.” Standing suddenly took effort. He felt hands on his shoulders, guiding and pushing gently. Then he was sitting down. “I can’t have magic, that doesn’t make any sense! I’m not –” He looked up sharply. “Is this some kind of trick?” 

“Your Highness, I swear it isn’t.” 

“I didn’t feel sensitive to anything until I came back here.” 

“You said you felt strange right before the performance,” Amir said. “And the plate – you didn’t like the plate.” 

Rupert stared at him. There was no way – it wasn’t possible – he _couldn’t_. 

“Does this mean you’re going to learn spells too?” Wenceslaus asked. 

“No,” Rupert said quickly. “No, I’m not. It doesn’t matter whether I have magic because even if I _did_ , which I _don’t_ , I’m not going to do anything with it. I don’t have a pendant anyway.” 

“Your Highness –” 

“I’m serious.” He stood too quickly and Amir put his hands on his arms to steady him. “It’s not going to happen. This is a lie, anyway, or some kind of trick. If _you’re_ not playing it, then it’s a fairy somewhere or another wizard with worse intentions than you two.” 

“Rupert, love –” 

“We had a lovely time watching your show but we really have to be going now. Have a good day.” He turned to leave, but Rodney’s words stopped him in his tracks. 

“If you don’t learn, it could kill everyone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think!  
> Also, I won't have a posting schedule. My system for stuff like this is that I'm always one chapter ahead (so I'm posting chapter 1 because I've finished writing chapter 2, and I won't post chapter 2 until I've finished chapter 3, and so on). It keeps me motivated.


	2. Delighting the Lanterns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rupert tries to read. Amir tries to help. Wenceslaus tries to understand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning: Rupert has an episode of sensory overload.

Rupert stared down at the book, but he couldn’t make out any of the words. His head swam.

_ “Unused magic builds up. If you don’t know how to handle it, it will get out of control. And someone could end up hurt, or worse.” _

He chewed his nail. If he  _ had _ magic, he’d have to learn to control it. But he didn’t necessarily have it. What had happened at the show could have just been a fluke. Before he made any decisions, he needed to know more, which was why Chamberlain had lent him his encyclopedia of magic.

The problem was, he couldn’t focus.

He swore and ran frazzled hands over his scalp, messing up his hair even more. This had been going on for at least fifteen minutes.

He shoved the book away and began to pace. His entire body felt like it was running on three cups of coffee.

“Ru?”

He spun to see Amir in the doorway, arms filled with books. Amir set them down on his desk and crossed the room, taking his hands and kissing each of his knuckles. If he noticed Rupert’s uneven nails, he didn’t comment. “Want to talk about it?” Amir asked.

“I can’t focus on anything.” He looked at the window. The moon had climbed higher than he’d thought. “I’m a wreck. What if it’s true? What if I have magic? I can’t deal with that, Amir, I just can’t.”

“Have you read anything in the encyclopedia yet?”

He shook his head, tears springing to his eyes. “The words might as well be in another language. I’ve read it at least ten times but it’s not getting through.”

Amir pulled him close, kissing the side of his head. “Okay. Okay, love. It’s going to be okay. Why don’t you take a break? Go for a walk in the garden or take a hot bath? I’m going to read through some of these and see if I can’t find anything out.”

Rupert sniffled. A bath sounded nice. “Okay.”

“I’ll also ask Lilith to bring us some tea and cobbler, if the kitchen has any."

“Thank you.”

“I love you, Rupert.” He pulled away to look him in the eyes. “And no matter what happens, I’m here.”

“I love you too.” Rupert walked into the bathroom, turning on the water and letting it run until it had warmed. He watched it fill the tub, his mind stubbornly wandering back to what Rodney had said.

What  _ kind _ of damage would he do? Did he have time before he lost control of it?

He sunk into the bathtub and took a breath, forcibly relaxing his muscles. He leaned his head back against the rim and closed his eyes.

If he had magic, he didn’t want it.

There had to be some way to get rid of it.

Upendo had lost her magic by casting a too many spells. Malkia lost her magic when Amir shattered her amulet.

Rupert didn’t know any spells, and he didn’t have an amulet. There had to be another way.

The hairs on the back of his neck prickled, and the sensation traveled down his spine and out to the rest of his body – an uncomfortable tingling that he couldn’t get rid of. He brought his knees to his chest, pressing his forehead against them, gritting his teeth as his ears began to buzz, counting his breaths as he waited for it to pass.

Distantly, he heard something shatter – maybe one of their staff had accidentally dropped something – but then he heard it again. And again.

He scrunched his shoulders up to his ears, trying to block out the noise – a hallucination?

Then hands were on his shoulders and he gasped, startling so badly that he nearly knocked heads with the person beside him.

“Rupert, are you okay?”

He looked up at the figure – Amir – and nodded once, wiping his eyes. “I think so. Just – it's just been a while since I’ve had such a bad episode.”

Ever since he was twelve, he’d sometimes have moments where everything became  _ too much _ , and all he could do to combat it was wait it out. The moments had become few and far between over the years, but hadn’t vanished completely. They seemed to happen more often when he was incredibly anxious.

It made sense that it had happened now.

“Did you – are the servants okay?” Rupert asked. “I thought I heard glass breaking?”

Amir frowned. “All three of the lanterns shattered. That’s why I came in here to check on you.”

“The lanterns in here?” He looked around to confirm this and sure enough, each of the lanterns were broken and glass covered the floor. He swallowed. “Do you think  – ? Did  _ I _ do that?”

“I don’t know.” He reached out and put a gentle hand on Rupert’s arm. “But I think it’s possible.”

Rupert buried his face in his hands.

“Come on, let’s get you out of here.” Amir drained the tub and helped Rupert up, wrapping a towel around him. He stopped him when he started to get out. “No, there’s broken glass and you’re not wearing shoes.” Amir lifted him, carrying him out of the room and setting him back down in the dressing area.

“What if it gets worse?” Rupert asked miserably. “What if next time I shatter all the windows or someone’s  _ bones _ ?” He haphazardly dried himself, his hands shaking. Amir remained nearby. “What if Rodney’s right? About everything? I don’t know how to control it – or even how to go about learning!” He took a deep breath. “Okay. Okay Rupert, focus.” He closed his eyes. “If he’s right and I  _ do _ have magic, I’ll just ask him for help. Even if he doesn’t know everything, he can probably get me pointed in the right direction.” He grabbed a pajama shirt and some pants. “We’ll send for them first thing in the morning.”

“Why not tonight?” Amir grabbed a broom and swept up the glass in the bathroom.

“What if they’re asleep?”

“You just shattered three lanterns!” he snapped. “Ru, we need to know what’s going on. And how long we have before it happens again.”

“I can go away.” Rupert crossed the room and picked up the encyclopedia. “Push comes to  shove, I can go away until I figure it out. That way I don’t hurt anyone else.”

“Absolutely not.”

“It’d be a last resort,” Rupert argued. “I’d rather hurt a few trees or a rock than my people or my family!”

Amir shook his head, his jaw clenching. “Then I’ll make sure it doesn’t come to that.” He walked to the door. “I’m going to send for Milo and Rodney.”

“While you’re out, you should also ask for someone who can mop up the glass.” He sat down cross-legged on the bed, propping the book in his lap. “But let’s not replace the lanterns just yet.”

“Agreed.” Amir started to open the door but stopped. “I’m sorry I snapped at you.”

“To be fair, this entire thing just got even more stressful.”

“That doesn’t mean I get to take it out on you, especially because  _ you’re _ the one who’s going through it.” He rocked back and forth on his feet. “I’m with you no matter what, Rupert. I need to know that you know that.”

“I do.” He smiled. “Thank you.”

“But I also – I'm scared.”

“So am I.” He jerked his chin. “You should get going.”

“Right.” He left and Rupert turned his attention to the book.

Maybe it was because they had a plan, or maybe it was because he’d just lost it on some poor lights, but he felt calmer now. At least, calm enough to read.

“ _ Magic can present itself at any time, though it is more common to occur around adolescence,”  _ he read. “ _ The presentation itself takes many forms, but the most common are sensitivity to, or recognition of, magic and a magical discharge.” _ He read the footnote for magical discharge; “ _ Magical discharge: a sudden outburst of magical energy from a magic user. This usually happens when a magic user has gone too long without casting a spell or exhausts themselves.” _

Was that what had happened in the bathroom? Magical discharge? And did Rupert feel so strange at Milo’s show because he was sensitive to Rodney’s magic?

He set the book aside and rubbed his temples. The bedroom door opened and Wenceslaus came in, rubbing his eyes, Spike right behind him. Rupert frowned. “Hey buddy, I thought you were in bed?” Amir had tucked him in alone tonight because Rupert was too panicky, and he didn’t want Wenceslaus to see it.

“I had a bad dream.” When Rupert opened his arms, he crawled up onto the bed and into his lap. “Spike was crying for me but it was too dark to see so I couldn’t get to him.”

Rupert hugged him just a little tighter. “I’m so sorry. Do you want to give him a checkup to make sure he’s okay?”

Wenceslaus sniffled and nodded, climbing off of Rupert’s lap. Rupert  pet the goat and got on his knees in front of him. “Alrighty, Spike, let’s have a look at you.” He turned Spike’s head this way and that with a gentle hand. Spike, to his credit, seemed to have all the patience in the world. “Eyes are clear and bright. His ears look normal. Horns are firm.” He stroked Spike’s back. “Coat is nice and shiny.” Wenceslaus sat next to Rupert and hugged Spike around the neck. “His nose is cool, his tail is up, and his hooves look great. I would say we have a very healthy, happy unicorn here.”

Wenceslaus turned and hugged Rupert. “Thank you.”

“Any time.” He rubbed up and down Wenceslaus’ back. “Do you want to go back to bed?”

He shook his head. “Can I stay here for a little while?”

“Sure. But I think Amir’s going to be bringing Rodney and Milo here to talk, so it’ll get busy.”

“Talk about what? Your magic?”

“Yeah.” He stood, lifting Wenceslaus, and pulled the blankets down. Then he set him down and tucked him in.

“Rupert? Why are you scared of magic?”

He laughed a little. Was it that obvious? He sat down next to his kid. Spike jumped up and curled up against Wenceslaus’ legs, giving Fitzroy at the other end of the bed a wide berth. “A lot of people use magic to do bad things.”

“But Rodney said that magic  _ isn’t _ bad, it’s the people who use it.” He wriggled a little, getting comfortable.

Rupert brushed some stray hairs off of Wenceslaus’ forehead. “It’s not quite that simple.” He sighed, trying to think of a way to explain it. “When people get scared or angry or hurt, they sometimes act without thinking. And sometimes, what they do is bad, even if  _ they’re _ not bad.”

Wenceslaus didn’t say anything for a long time. “Like casting a bad spell?”

“Yes.”

“And that’s why you’re scared of magic? Because people cast bad spells?”

“Yes.”

“And you don’t want to have magic because  _ you _ don’t want to cast a bad spell?”

“Exactly.”

Wenceslaus frowned. “Then why don’t you just …  _ not _ cast any bad spells?”

“That’s the thing, bud. I don’t …" He sighed. “Do you remember when we first met? Amir and I were trying to stop Malkia from hurting everyone?”

Wenceslaus nodded.

“Malkia’s not a bad person. But some people hurt her very, very badly, and she lost her kingdom. That changed her a lot, and she did something wrong because of it. She used her magic to try and make it so no one could ever hurt her again. And in the process, she hurt a lot of other people.”

“Like Amir?”

“Like Amir.”

Wenceslaus stared up at the top of the bed’s canopy. “I don’t get it.”

Rupert bit his lip and thought of how to reword his thoughts so his eight-year-old would understand. “If something hurts me,” he said, “and if it changes me like how it changed Malkia, I don’t want to be able to hurt people like she did.”

“Oh.” He sat up and looked over at Rupert. “But you can hurt people other ways, can’t you? Like with a sword or an army or Porridge?”

“ Yeah, but I think magic would be more effective.”

He huffed a little, rubbing Spike’s head. “I don’t think you’d ever do what she did. You’re too nice.”

Rupert chuckled. “I’m glad you think so, but I’d rather not take any chances.”

Wenceslaus yawned, lying back down. “It’d be cool, though. You could turn coins to chocolate or conjure birds or make flowers grow.”

“Maybe we should just leave that to Milo, yeah? He knows more about that stuff anyway.” He rubbed little circles into Wenceslaus’ stomach until he had fallen asleep. Then he sighed and picked up the encyclopedia again.

He’d never known how quickly he’d come to love his child, but Wenceslaus gave him all of the warmth and fear of loving someone, and then some. He loved talking to him and reading to him and listening to him go on about animals and unicorns, and he loved the idea of getting to watch him grow.

But having more people in his life gave Rupert more people to lose, more people that he had to protect from anything, including himself.

He had to figure this magic thing out. It wasn’t just his own life at stake.

He closed the encyclopedia and took a deep breath. If he was going to learn about this, he was going to be thorough.

He opened the book to the first page.


	3. Drawing a Conclusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rupert learns more about magic. Amir is there for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to make sure I knew enough about the magic system before I posted this, just because it goes into a bit more depth. I didn't want to have to retcon anything.

The door opened when Rupert was on page 32. He looked up and greeted Lilith, one of the servants, as she came in with a bucket and a mop. “How’s your sister?” he asked.

“She’s doing much better; she only has a minor cough now, and no more fever. That medicine your healer gave us worked like a charm.”

“I’m glad to hear it.” He bit his lip, looking down at his book, then back up at her. He set the book aside. He could get back to it later. First and foremost, he needed to be a prince to his people. “We’ve been talking to some of our economic advisors. We think we’re going to set it up so that your taxes pay the healers’ salaries. I think your taxes will go up a little, but Amir and I have been assured that it’s still  _ much _ less expensive than paying out of pocket.”

“I’m sure it’ll save a lot of lives, Your Highness.” She went into the bathroom to clean up the glass.

Rupert returned to his book. This first chapter was all about what magic  _ is _ , but he still couldn’t quite grasp it.

It was a type of energy, or something like that. And while magic itself only came in one form –  _ magic _ – it could be channeled into … different forms?

“ _ What _ ?” he whispered. “ So there’s only one type of magic but you can use different types of magic? This book doesn’t make any sense!” He rubbed his temples, looking over at the bed to make sure he hadn’t woken Wenceslaus. When his kid didn’t stir, he took a breath and leaned his head against the back of the couch.

“Maybe it’s like water,” Lilith said, startling him. “Water is water but it can also be ice or steam.”

He thought about it, then nodded. “That - that makes sense, actually. Thank you.”

“I’ve cleaned the glass for you. Did you want me to go ahead and see to some new lanterns too?”

“No, I think it’d be better to wait, in case something like this happens again.” He frowned. “Lilith, what do  _ you _ know about magic?”

“Not much, sire. It's illegal in the West.”

“Is it really?” Why didn’t he know that?

“My mother said that King  Ufgherd outlawed it almost twenty years ago.”

He wondered if that had anything to do with him. He’d have to write his mother and ask her. “No wonder Milo and Rodney were scared. I thought that it was just because tensions are still high after the D-word.” He shook his head. “I wish I knew more.”

“I’m sorry I can’t be of more help, Your Highness.”

He smiled at her. She wasn’t much older than him, maybe twenty-one. “You have nothing to apologize for. Thank you.”

She bowed and left. He picked the book back up.

There were five main categories of magic, and each corresponded with one of the elements: water, fire, earth, air, and light.

He’d never considered  _ light _ to be an element but magic apparently did.

He took a deep breath. “This is a lot to process.”

Amir opened the door. “I’ve got Rodney and Milo.”

Rupert stood, taking the book with him. “Let’s go to the drawing room. Wenceslaus is in here.”

Amir frowned. “Another nightmare?”

“Yeah.” He stepped out into the hallway and smiled tersely at Rodney. “Hello again.”

“Hi.” They walked up to the drawing room and sat. “So, uh, Your Highness, is everything alright?”

Rupert clasped his hands together to keep himself from biting his nails again. “I think you may be right. About me having … magic.”

“Oh.”

“I shattered three lanterns.”

“Oh!” Rodney exchanged a shocked glance with Milo. “Was anyone hurt?”

“No. But I might not be so lucky if it happens again.” Holding his hands together wasn’t enough so he cracked each of his knuckles. “So how do I keep this from happening again?”

“Gaining control of your magic.”

“How do I do that?”

Rodney grimaced. “I - I don’t think I can help you with that.”

“But you have control of  _ your  _ magic!”

“I do, but I was very young when I learned. It’s become second nature to me at this point. I couldn’t explain it if my life depended on it.” He looked at Rupert’s crestfallen face and added, “But, um, you usually have a magical discharge if you’ve gone too long without using any magic.  So if you cast a little spell now and then, you might be able to keep it from happening too often. That’s just a temporary solution, though. You’ll need to learn how to control your magic if you  _ really _ want to make sure it doesn’t go off.”

“Who taught you?”

“My parents. They were both magic users. But they died when I was six.” He shook his head. “I really have no idea who you could talk to. Magic has been illegal in the West for as long as I’ve been alive.”

Rupert brought a finger to his mouth, but Amir took his hands and rubbed them soothingly. He began to tap his foot instead. “Is there a way I can get rid of my magic?” he asked.

Rodney looked taken aback. “Not that I know of?”

“What about your pendant? When we defeated Malkia, we destroyed her amulet, and that took away her magic. Can we do something like that?”

“I don’t know. I’m so sorry, Your Highness. I’m really out of my depth. I don’t know that much.”

Rupert looked down at his lap.

“What does the pendant do?” Amir asked.

“It’s kind of like a conduit. It channels your magic and makes it easier to control, to cast spells and all that. Each magic user has to blindly pick their own from a group of at least twelve, usually when they present their powers. I chose mine when I was two.” He shrugged. “I was an early bloomer.”

“Is magic really that hard to control without one?”

“It depends. When you’re first starting out, yeah. It’s like any new skill, though – the more you practice, the easier it gets. And if you’re trying to cast a really powerful spell, you usually need the stone. After a while, it kind of becomes … an extension of yourself? I don’t know how to describe it.”

“But you don’t always need the stone?”

“No. Yes.” Rodney grimaced again. “It’s all relative. You’d have to be pretty practiced in order to be able to do much without one.”

Rupert took a breath. “Is there anything else you can tell me about magic?”

“Well, if you want to learn a really basic spell that you can cast to keep yourself from discharging, I can teach you.”

He forced a smile. “Okay, thank you.”

“I can teach you how to conjure a little flame.”

Rupert winced. “Doesn’t that sound a little … destructive?”

“How about I teach you to levitate things? Small things, like pillows or pens?”

“If I lose control of that, won’t I send it through someone’s eye?”

“Okay, well what about a wood breaking spell? You use it to split logs instead of chopping them for firewood. You’d be starting a lot smaller than that, like with twigs, but –”

“I could focus on the wrong thing and break someone’s bones instead!”

Rodney blinked. “You can always do these by yourself, when no one’s around.”

“Someone could walk in.”

Milo buried his head in his hands. Amir put his hand on Rupert’s knee.

“Alright. Well, what if you just conjured up a little ball of water?”

Rupert thought about it. “How would I go about doing that?”

“I mean, the short answer is that you would focus on pulling the water from the air around you and into your hand.”

“But … blood has water in it. What if I pull someone’s blood from them on accident?”

“All due respect, Your Highness, but you’d have to be  _ very _ powerful to do something like that. It would take years of practice. But if you’re really that worried, you can keep a cup or a small bowl of water close by. That way there’ll be plenty of water to pull from.”

That did make him feel a little better. “Okay. Yeah, could you teach me that one?”

“Sure. Hold your hand out flat and close your eyes.” When Rupert complied, Rodney continued, “Think about all of the water in the air around you. Tiny little drops of it. And then picture them coming together, onto your hand.”

He squeezed his eyes shut tighter, imagining the water moving to his hand over and over. When nothing happened after several minutes, he sighed in defeat. “This isn’t working. Is the air too dry, maybe? It’s February, after –” He stopped short when he opened his eyes and saw, in Rodney’s hand, a perfect sphere of water. “Oh.”

“It’s okay if it doesn’t happen right away.” Rodney closed his eyes again and the sphere dispersed. “Like I said, it’s like a skill that takes practice. Keep working on it.”

Rupert laughed humorlessly. “I don’t have a choice.”

“I wish I could be of more help.”

Rupert ran a hand through his hair. “It’s not your fault, Rodney. I’m sorry. This is just,  _ a lot _ .”

“Yeah. But I’m glad you have an open mind about it.”

He thought back to earlier in the day, when he first found out that Rodney had magic. How afraid he and Milo were. “Rodney, how did your parents die?”

He inhaled sharply. “Oh. They, um, they were … They were killed.”

“By my mother?”

“No. By your father.”

Rupert’s shoulders sunk and he rubbed his face tiredly. It seemed like he learned about another one of his father’s atrocities daily. “I’m so sorry. He was a monster, and I wish I could undo all the suffering he caused.”

“Mine too,” Amir said softly.

“He’d been gone for a few years when it happened, but it was still his law that did it.” Milo sneered in disgust and turned his head away. “Makes my stomach roll just thinking about it.”

“I know. I’m so sorry.”

He looked over at Rupert and met his eyes. “You’re going to do better than him.” It didn’t sound like a reassurance.  It sounded like a demand.

Amir stood. “I think we’ve bothered you two long enough, especially for how late it is.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a handful of gold. “Here. Thank you for coming on such short notice. And thank you for all your help.”

Milo and Rodney stood, too, and let Amir show them to the door. “Make sure these two get home safe,” he said to the guard. “Have a good night.”

Rodney looked over his shoulder at Rupert, and Rupert waved at him with a smile.

He allowed it to fall the second the door was shut and slumped into the couch. Amir sat down next to him and drew him close. “Do you feel any better, at least?”

A hysterical laugh bubbled up in Rupert’s throat but it easily turned to tears.

“My love,” Amir crooned, rubbing Rupert’s arms. “We’re going to figure this out, okay? I’m going to write my mother a letter and see if she knows anything about magic, or someone who does. My father outlawed magic too, but I think my mother repealed it as soon as she took the throne. There  _ has _ to be something out there.”

Rupert snuffled, and Amir offered him a handkerchief. He blew his nose. “What if there isn’t? What if I never find out how to get rid of this and I never figure out how to do the water spell and my magic builds up and I kill everyone?”

“That’s not going to happen. There’s much more out there than just these three kingdoms.” He sighed, kissing the top of Rupert’s head. “I wish I could just fix all your problems for you.”

“I wish I didn’t have so many problems that needed fixing.” He looked up at Amir, his eyes sore from crying. “Will you still love me if I become an  out-of-control magical monster?”

“ Of course I will.” Even though Rupert’s words had been ridiculous, Amir’s tone was sincere. It made Rupert giggle a little at how horribly unfunny this whole thing was. He tucked his head under Amir’s chin, kissing his neck as an afterthought.

He thought about what Amir said.  _ There’s so much more out there. We’ll find someone.  _ It echoed in his brain on loop.

Then he got an idea.

“There  _ is _ ,” he whispered, sitting up. “There’s someone out there –  _ two _ someones, actually.” He stood. “I don’t know why they’d help us – they have no reason to, but it’s worth a shot. I need to write some letters. Where’s the good parchment?”

“Who is it, Ru?”

He paused his hunt for some paper and turned. “The only two spellcasters we know are still alive. Malkia and Upendo.”


	4. The Trick

_ Pull the water toward you, _ Rupert thought, his brow furrowing as he concentrated on his mental image.  _ Pull it from the air and into your hand. Or pull it from that cup of tea Amir brought you twenty minutes ago that you forgot to drink and is definitely too cold now.  _

He growled a little in frustration. “The water, Rupert,” he scolded himself. “Think about the water.”

He thought about the water in the teacup. Thought about it traveling up and into his hand. He clenched his eyes shut to keep his mind from wandering.

He dropped his hand after several minutes with no progress.

“Any luck?”

Rupert looked over his shoulder to see Amir standing in the doorway. “No,” Rupert said. He made room for him on the couch.

Amir joined him. “Your hand  _ looks _ a little wet, though? That’s something, right?”

“No, I think I’m just sweaty.” He rubbed his hands on his pants. “I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I’m visualizing it just like he said.” Amir tugged on Rupert’s legs and he allowed himself to be maneuvered until his calves were draped across his husband’s lap. “Maybe I’ve just exhausted myself.”

“You  _ have _ been at this for almost two hours straight.” Amir placed a hand on Rupert’s shin. “I think you should take a break.”

Rupert nodded in agreement. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“That this is all so time consuming. We barely had time for each other  _ before _ all of this happened.”

Amir shook his head. “You don’t have to be sorry for that. It’s not your fault.”

“But it’s  _ my _ magic that’s having problems.” He still didn’t like saying those two words together.

“That doesn’t mean it’s your fault.” Amir finished massaging Rupert’s calves and moved down to his ankles.

Rupert frowned and looked at the shelf full of books, a quarter of which he still needed to read. Chamberlain’s collection was far from extensive, and most of the material was focused on historical accounts and theories of how magic came to be. Interesting to read, but not of much help.

“Any word from your mother yet?” he asked.

“Yes, actually. She’s looking into it and trying to find any magic users who might be of help.” Amir laughed a little. “She also reminded me that  _ I _ have technically used magic before.”

Rupert tore his gaze from the book titles and turned back to face Amir. “What? When?”

“The Lake of Transition.”

Rupert blinked at him. Then he snorted. “You forgot about that?”

“I changed my body almost five years ago! A lot’s happened since then!”

“Babe, you have to drink a serum twice a month to maintain it!” The laughter escaped, and it was only exacerbated by Amir’s horrible attempts to mask his own laughter with a pout.

When he had mostly calmed down, he scooted closer so he could wrap his arms around Amir’s neck and press his forehead against his shoulder.

“It’s been a really long couple of months, okay?” Amir said, pretending to sound more hurt than he actually was.

Rupert’s giggling finally died down. “I know, baby.” He hugged him tighter. “Thank you. I needed that.”

“You know what else I think you need?”

“Hmm?”

“Our bed.”

He smiled a little but pulled away. “That sounds really nice, but I don’t think I’d be very good company, with as worried as I am about –”

“I meant for a nap.”

The smile faded entirely. “Oh. I don’t have time for a nap.”

Amir stood, pulling Rupert up to his feet. “My love, you’ve been staying up late to read. When we’re not tending to our kingdom, you’re spending whatever free time you’d normally have either practicing or studying. You are wearing yourself out.” When he tried to pull him in the direction of their bed, Rupert resisted. Amir sighed. “Alright, we can do this one of two ways. You can come quietly, or I’ll just have to use  _ my _ magic powers to make you take a nap.”

Rupert made a face. “ _ Your _ magic powers? What, are you  gonna hit me with a brick or something?”

Amir rolled his eyes. “I’m going to give you a long backrub. With the lavender oils you like.”

“When has that  _ ever _ made me fall asleep?”

“I’ll just do it for a long time. That way, even if it’s not relaxing enough, it could still bore you to sleep.”

Rupert laughed again. “You’re such a nerd.” He draped his arms around his neck and kissed his nose. “You really want me to sleep that badly?”

“I do.”

“On one condition: you wake me up if anything happens.”

“Alright.”

“And I mean it. If I wake up and find that you let me sleep through something you shouldn’t have, I’m going to make a pillow wall between us every night for the next week.”

Amir smiled. “Deal. Now come on.” He nudged him toward the mattress. “Put on something to sleep in and get comfortable.”

When Rupert complied, Amir got into bed next to him. “Are you going to take a nap with me?” Rupert asked. “I thought you were supposed to be on the lookout for news.”

“I’m just going to stay here until you fall asleep.” Amir propped his head on his elbow. “And make sure you  _ actually _ sleep.”

Rupert leaned up and kissed him.

Then he kissed him again. And again.

Amir kissed him back each time, but made a noise of dissent after a moment and pulled away. “Nice try, love, but distracting me won’t work.”

That hadn’t been Rupert’s intention – honestly, he’d just meant to kiss him the once – but something about how they were lying made him realize how much he  _ missed _ his husband. “Not even for just five minutes?” he asked as sweetly as he could.

“The last time we said five minutes, it turned into forty-five.” Amir draped his free arm around Rupert’s waist. “Go to sleep. There’ll be time for us later.”

Rupert had no idea why that hit him square in the chest, but it did. He swallowed hard. “What if there isn’t?” he whispered. “What if I never figure this out, and I lose control again and I –”

“You won’t.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I do.”

“How? How can you be so certain?”

“Because it’s us,” Amir said. “We’re destiny, remember? We always get through it, no matter what.” He reached out and brushed Rupert’s tears away before drawing him nearer.

Rupert blinked. “This is why I don’t cry in front of people,” he mumbled miserably. “I cried in front of you  _ once _ on our wedding day and now I’m always gushing like a fountain.”

Amir chuckled. “I wouldn’t go  _ that _ far.” He rubbed Rupert’s back. “But I love that you trust me enough to be vulnerable like this in front of me.”

“You’re  gonna make me cry harder!”

“Maybe you need to cry, and get it all out of your system. And it might make it easier for you to go to sleep.”

Rupert rebelliously wiped his eyes and rolled over. “This was all part of an elaborate scheme to make me take a nap?”

“Yeah,” Amir deadpanned. “You caught me. Is it working?”

“No.” He snuggled back against Amir’s chest. “Talk to me.”

“About what?”

“Anything.” He drew the blanket up to his chin. “Just until I fall asleep.”

“Well, I can tell you a story my mother used to tell me when I was younger.”

“Is it the one about the three princes?”

“Mm-hmm. There was once a king. A benevolent one, not a tyrant like our fathers were. And he had three sons. Tradition usually dictated that the eldest son became king once his father died, but this king had another idea. One morning, he called his sons into the throne room and said to them,  _ "I will give each of you ten gold pieces, and I want you to find me a treasure. Whoever finds the greatest treasure will be king.” _ And so the three sons set out in search of a great treasure...”

Amir’s voice grew softer, gentler, as he told the story.

Rupert, surprising himself as much as Amir, actually drifted off.

* * *

When he woke up, the first thing he did was drape his arm over his eyes to keep the sun out.

The second thing he did was shoot up in bed because they had east-facing windows, and it had been early afternoon when he’d settled down for his nap.

Fitzroy grumbled a little in his sleep but otherwise didn’t stir as Rupert ran to the window to confirm that yes, it was in fact morning.

He’d slept for at least eighteen hours.

That meant Amir hadn’t woken him at all yesterday.

It also meant that he  _ really _ had to go to the bathroom.

Once that was remedied, he took a quick shower, brushed his teeth, and got dressed.

He’d just finished pulling his shirt on when Amir walked in from his morning patrol. “Sleep well?” he had the audacity to ask.

“Why didn’t you wake me?” Rupert ran his fingers through his hair in a haphazard attempt to style it.

“Nothing needed your attention, and you were so tired. I thought it’d be better to let you rest.” He hugged Rupert from behind and kissed the back of his neck. “Forgive me?”

He sighed. “You promise?”

“I promise. Nothing happened. Chamberlain and I went through some more books that he’d found, but we didn’t turn up any new information. There weren’t any emergencies. No letters came. The whole evening was entirely uneventful.” He kissed Rupert’s cheek. “Do you feel any better?”

“A little. But I  _ am _ pretty hungry.”

“Breakfast is waiting for us in the dining hall.”

Fitzroy finally stirred at the mention of food, and the three of them walked down the stairs.

Wenceslaus was already sitting at the table when they arrived, bouncing a little in his chair. “I can’t believe you slept that long!” he said to Rupert, serving himself the second everyone was seated.

“I can’t either.” He frowned at Wenceslaus’ plate. “Are you going to be able to finish all of that?”

He nodded. “I was really hungry at dinner, too. Amir said it’s because I’m going to go through a growth squirt.”

“Growth  _ spurt _ ,” Amir corrected.

Rupert smiled and fixed his own plate.

There was a knock at the door halfway through their meal, and a squire –  _ was it Thompson or Tomlin? _ \- came in. “Sorry to interrupt, Your Highnesses,” he said, “but a letter just arrived via carrier crow.”

“Carrier  _ crow _ ?” Rupert and Amir exchanged a glance. Rupert took the letter, tipped the squire –  _ it was Tomlin –,  _ and opened it up. His heart stopped.

“Ru, what is it?”

“It’s from  Upendo .” He read it again.

“What does it say?”

“They won’t come to the Heartland.”

Amir sighed. “We knew it was a long shot, love.”

“They want me to come to  _ them _ .”

“What?” He walked over to Rupert and read the letter too. “I’ve never been that far north before.”

“I haven’t either.” He looked over at Wenceslaus, who’d stopped eating to observe, then back at Amir. “But this is my best chance to figure out how to get rid of my magic, or at the very least learn to cast a spell so I don’t discharge again.”

Amir met his eyes. “You really want to go?”

“I don’t  _ want _ to. But yes.” He took the letter back. “I’m sure there’s someone who can point me in the right direction.”

“Um?” Amir took his arm, turning them away from their kid. “I’m going with you, Rupert.”

“I can’t ask you to do that. Besides, what about Wenceslaus? What about our kingdom? We can’t just leave them alone.”

“We have a team of advisors, Ru. They can keep an eye on things. And between Chamberlain, Joan, and Cecily, Wenceslaus will be in good hands. Push comes to shove, my mother can come watch him.”

Rupert bit his lip. “If you want to come with me, I’m not going to stop you. It’d be really good to have you there too.” He took a breath. “We don’t have to have this figured out right now. We can take some time to plan before we head out.”

“Agreed.” Amir took Rupert’s hand. “Come on, let’s finish breakfast before it gets cold.”

They sat back down at the table.

Even though Rupert was starving, the rest of the food he ate seemed to stick in his throat. Part of him was relieved and glad that  Upendo and  Malkia had offered to help him, but a bigger part of him was terrified for what could come next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So does anyone else know that story about the three princes? I vaguely (VERY vaguely) remember reading it in grade school.


	5. The Sword and the [Hypothetical] Stone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the middle of the night ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> General warning for a bit of angst. Going forward, I think it should be expected tbh.

Rupert crept down the stairs, wrapped tightly in a cloak to fight off the chill as he descended. Even though this was  _ his  _ castle, and he could go where he pleased without getting into trouble, old habit kept him from making noise.

He stopped in front of a door that looked like it belonged to one of the three prison cells in the dungeon. A guard stood in front of it and bowed quickly when she saw Rupert. “Can I help you, Your Highness?” she asked.

“Open it, please.”

She pulled a key out and unlocked the door for him before pushing it open. He stepped inside and tried not to wince when the door shut behind him. He looked at the chests of gold, jewels, jewelry, gilded heirlooms that had been wedding presents. He ran his fingers over a nearby pile of coins. If he and Amir got their way, the treasury would only be half full by the next year.

He picked up a bag and counted out fifty gold coins, one hundred shillings, and seventy-five brass pennies. Then he marked it down in the ledger so the treasurers wouldn’t have heart attacks. He set the bag aside and walked deeper into the room.

Between the wall and a cabinet full of jewel-encrusted serving dishes (which were, according to his mother,  _ strictly ornamental _ ), there was a well-hidden gap that opened up into a small room, blocked by a barred door. He produced the key from his pocket and unlocked it, stepping in and approaching the table.

They held their most valuable items in this part of the treasury. The Forbidden Book (or, as it was called in the East, The Book of Prophecy) sat alone on a shelf in the left corner. Just over two months ago,  their wedding rings had been in a sealed case on the opposite side. Amir had brought with him a special sword, his  _ first _ sword, which held a different kind of value, and it was on a rack.

What Rupert was after, however, rested right in front of him in a plain footlocker.

He pulled a second key out of his pocket and unlocked it. Then, with a deep breath,  he  lifted the lid, staring down at the sword inside.

Rupert didn’t like swords. He trained with one because it was necessary to know how to use at least a few weapons, but swords in particular left a sick feeling in his gut. Maybe it was because he’d had one pointed at him too many times. Maybe it was because he’d had to use one against his now-husband.

_ This _ sword had almost been used against him. And then it was used  _ for _ him. He never actually got to fight with it, and he’d hoped it would stay that way. He  _ still _ hoped it would stay that way.

He lifted it out of the box. Perfectly balanced, custom-made at Amir’s behest, a corny little inscription on the hilt (also Amir’s doing).

It really  _ was _ a beautiful blade.

He slid it back into its sheath and closed the box as quietly as possible.

“I can’t even remember the last time I caught you sneaking around this late at night.”

Rupert swiveled, his hand going to his dagger as a reflex, but immediately relaxed when he saw Chamberlain. “You startled me,” he said. “And I’m not sneaking around in my own castle.”

“You’re wearing common clothing and your quietest pair of shoes,” Chamberlain observed.

Rupert looked down and confirmed this. “Force of habit.” He tucked the sword under his arm and walked out of the hidden room. Chamberlain followed him. “Are you having trouble sleeping? Is that why you’re not in bed?”

“No, I just returned.”

Rupert made a face. “Your date with Barabbas went this late?”

“That it did. Now, do you want to tell me why  _ you’re _ not sleeping? You have a big day tomorrow.”

“I know. That’s why I wanted to grab this.” He picked up the bag of coins. “I didn’t want to forget.”

“And may I ask what you’re planning on doing with that sword?”

“It shattered  Malkia’s amulet and stripped her of her magic. Maybe it can do the same for me.”

Chamberlain frowned. “You don’t have an amulet, sire.”

“If I get one, I can use this sword to break it.”

“Your Highness, I would temper your desire to get rid of your magic. It is, after all, a part of you.”

“Warts are a part of people too, and we still get rid of  _ them _ .” He sighed, setting his things down next to the ledger. “Do you want me to keep it?”

“I want you to do whatever is best for you.” He sat down in the chair next to the table. Rupert realized that this would be a longer conversation than he’d intended and hopped up onto a counter, upsetting a cup of pencils in the process. “Why  _ don’t _ you want to keep it?”

Rupert gestured vaguely. “Everything that’s happened? I don’t want that power, Chamberlain. I don’t want to be able to summon the dead or steal memories or  _ absorb sad people _ . I don’t want to be like  Malkia or the D-word.”

“But you’re _not_ Malkia _or_ the Despair. You’re Rupert. And I think you should give yourself more credit.”

Rupert ran a hand through his hair. It was getting longer. “You give me  _ too much _ credit.” He bit his lip and looked down at his lap, swinging his legs a little so his feet would thump against the counter and prevent total silence. “I don’t understand why you think I’m special. And if I  _ am _ , I don’t want to be. I want to be ordinary.” He rubbed at his wrists.

“Rupert, there’s beauty in being different.”

“And there’s beauty in being normal, too.” He blinked hard. “Haven’t I done enough, Chamberlain? Haven’t I  _ earned _ peace? Even for a moment? Why can’t I rest?”

“You haven’t been sleeping well,” Chamberlain said, even though they both knew that wasn’t what Rupert meant. “Rupert, it’s not a matter of whether you deserve something. There will always be more for you to do.” When Rupert sniffled, Chamberlain stood and put a hand on Rupert’s knee. “What’s important is that you remember that there will also  _ always _ be someone willing to help you. You’ll never be alone, even when you  _ feel _ alone.”

“That’s not true.”

“There will always be someone, even if you haven’t met them yet. You just need to reach out.”

Rupert wiped at his eyes. “What if I hurt someone? What if – what if I let myself become corrupt and lash out? I know I can hurt people in other ways, but magic is deadlier.”

“If you can’t believe in yourself, believe in me.” Chamberlain tapped his hand a few times so Rupert would look up. “The fact that this scares you is a good sign. And if anyone can fight off the temptation to commit wrongdoings, it’s you.”

“You don’t know that.”

“I watched you do it for years.”

That made Rupert laugh. “Oh? And what about all those times I picked the lock on my door or cut up my clothes or snuck out the window? Those weren’t wrongdoings?”

Instead of laughing along like Rupert expected, Chamberlain’s eyes grew sad. “No,” he said firmly, “they weren’t.”

Rupert couldn’t do anything to combat the discomfort of  _ this  _ silence.

“I wish I had done more,” Chamberlain continued.

“You did what you could.”

“It wasn’t enough.”

Rupert shook his head. “That doesn’t mean it was your fault.” He looked up at him. “Chamberlain, I never once blamed you for any of it. I need you to know that. And -” His voice cracked. “And I’ve wanted to tell you that I love you too. I just couldn’t say it until it was too late.” He did not expect to be doing this here and now, but life never gave him good timing. Tears welled up in his eyes. “I don’t want you to think I took you for granted, or that I didn’t appreciate all that you did for me, even if I didn’t understand it at the time. You did what you could to keep me as safe and as happy as possible, and I saw it, even if I didn’t know. And I – and I -” The tears fell. “I’m so sorry that it took you dying for me to tell you any of it.”

Chamberlain pulled him into a hug. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I kept everything to myself too, you know.”

Rupert wiped his eyes. “Look, if I really didn’t think you were a good father figure, I wouldn’t be trusting you around Wenceslaus.” He pursed his lips a little. “ _ Barabbas _ , however …”

“I know he’s not your favorite.”

“I love how happy he makes you, don’t get me wrong, but you’re an adult. He can’t be  _ that _ bad of an influence on you. But Wenceslaus is eight, and Barabbas’ rebellious nature is going to be  _ very _ intriguing to him.” He sighed and laughed a little. “I know I would’ve lost my mind if I knew someone like that when I was his age.”

“I’ll be sure to keep Barabbas away from him.”

“You don’t have to go that far. I know you two like to have dinner together. Just … don’t leave them unsupervised?”

“You have my word, sire.”

Chamberlain would never stop calling him by his titles. To be fair, Rupert would never stop calling him Chamberlain.

Rupert hopped off the counter and grabbed his things. “Thank you,” he said, “for having faith in me.”

“You give me plenty of reason to.” He stepped out of the treasury as Rupert held the door for him. “Have a good night, Your Highness.”

“Goodnight, Chamberlain.”

Rupert didn’t sleep the rest of the night. He stretched out on the couch and watched Amir sleep in their bed. He was thankful his husband was such a heavy sleeper. If Amir knew he was awake,  _ he’d  _ lose sleep worrying about why Rupert wasn’t in bed.

As he watched, his mind wandered to Chamberlain’s words. His certainty, his confidence. It made him feel a little better.

Chamberlain’s advice hadn’t steered him wrong before.

He stood and added another log to the fire.

“Ru?”

He turned and saw Amir sitting up in bed, staring blearily at him. “Hey,” Rupert said, moving to sit next to him. “What’re you doing up?”

“You first.”

“Making sure we don’t freeze.”

“Mmm.” Amir hugged Rupert around the waist and pressed his forehead against his shoulder. Rupert stroked his hair. “Another nightmare.”

He’d been afraid of that. “It was just a dream, sweetheart. It’s not going to happen. And I’m right here.”

Amir hugged him tighter. “Say that again.”

“I’m right here.” Rupert kissed the top of his head. This was, unfortunately, a common occurrence. Every victim of the Despair seemed to suffer bad dreams, and his husband was no exception. Some nights were better than others, and the frequency had gone from every night to four or five times a week, but it still made Rupert’s heart roar.

Everyone was in pain, and he’d had a hand in it.

“I’m right here,” he repeated. He couldn’t change what had happened. He just had to deal with the consequences, and mitigate any anguish the best he could. “Let’s get you back to sleep.”

He coaxed Amir back into the bed, pulling the blanket up over him. Amir didn’t let go of Rupert, and tugged on him until he relented and lay down next to him. Amir hummed contently at this and rested his head on Rupert’s chest, right over his heart, draping an arm across his stomach.

“’M sorry, Ru,” Amir mumbled.

Rupert wrapped his arms around him. “I know. I’m sorry too.”

“Talk to me?”

Rupert obliged, recounting the time he learned to make bread.

Amir fell asleep quickly. His ability to do that had always made Rupert jealous.

Amir had him pinned, so he couldn’t get out of the bed. He didn’t really mind. He stared up at the ceiling and let his mind wander again.

The door opened thirty minutes later. Rupert couldn’t sit up, but he didn’t need to. He knew who it was.

Little feet padded towards the bed. He heard a sniffle. Rupert turned his head and could just make out Wenceslaus’ form against the dulling firelight.

“Come here,” he whispered.

Wenceslaus crawled into the bed, curling up against Rupert and putting his head on the other side of his chest. Spike hopped up onto the mattress a moment later and settled against Wenceslaus’ legs. He, like Amir, was able to drift off without much issue.

Rupert wasn’t a fan of being restrained or held down, but this was the lone exception. Having two of the people he loved most, actively seeking comfort from him, resting on him, letting him hold them close and wipe their tears away when necessary – it made him feel needed and appreciated and so  _ lucky _ .

He was so lucky.

He closed his eyes and made himself stop worrying, let himself appreciate this, didn’t pay any thought to  _ why _ Amir and Wenceslaus needed comfort, just let himself be glad that he was able to provide it.

Even though he didn’t always feel like it, there  _ were _ things he was good at. Important things, like this.

And he was thankful his family was here to remind him.


End file.
